Roommate Relationships: How to Encourage Success
The Division of University Housing welcomes more than 7,200 new students to the residence halls every year, and the staff understands that roommates are often a hot topic of conversation. Parents are a student’s first sounding board regarding roommate relationships, so your thoughtful guidance can equip them to deal with one of the most exciting dynamics of starting college. The Assignment Office and Residence Life staff supports many students and families with establishing and maintaining successful roommate relationships.
Overall, we recommend five steps to help your student address nearly any roommate situation that may arise:
- Listen.
- Ask your student clarifying questions.
- Practice communicating.
- Allow him or her to address the situation.
- Give him or her time to work through a solution.
Here are some commonly asked questions and suggestions for how families can best aid their students in navigating roommates.
Q: How can students connect with their roommates?
A: Each resident is provided with the roommate’s name, e-mail, phone number, and home address. This information can be found when your student logs into the My UW Housing portal. Some students may also choose to learn about their roommates through social media. While this is one step in developing a new roommate relationship, we recommend also having your student contact his or her roommate directly through e-mail, phone, or video chat. Please encourage your student to remember that social media profiles are not always the most accurate representation of a whole individual. Initial concerns are often dispelled through direct contact between two students. Remind your student to be open-minded. Part of being a college student is meeting different types of people. Keep in mind, though, that during the summer some students have limited access to e-mail or may be away on vacation or for work. Your student should allow his or her roommate time to respond.
Q: What if a roommate is abroad and cannot talk on the phone?
A: Whether the new roommate is across the world or just across town, we recommend video chatting as a way to put a face with a name. Many free, easy-to-use applications, such as Skype, GChat, and Facetime will make it possible for your student to get to know his or her new roommate.
Q: What if my student is unhappy with his or her roommate?
A: Please keep in mind that roommate pairs must be able to respect each other and the ‘home’ they will share; they are not required to formulate a mandatory best-friend relationship. Roommate pairs are successful when they have built a foundation of respect and consideration for one another. Before a student makes any rash judgments, we recommend that he or she reaches out to the new roommate for a phone or video conversation to get to know one another. To best facilitate the harder questions, all residents in University Housing complete a roommate agreement once they arrive on campus. The roommate pair will sit down with the help of their House Fellow to talk through this agreement together. This may be the first time that many residents are sharing a room and have to communicate about their living needs, so the roommate agreement asks very specific questions about sleep, studying, cleanliness, guests, and personal belongings. This serves as a “living document” to be revisited throughout the year as the relationship grows and needs change.
Q: Who can assist if there is a conflict between roommates?
A: In all healthy relationships there may be some conflicts, and learning to communicate through them helps the relationship grow deeper. Upper-class House Fellows (RAs) are a great first resource for residents who need another student perspective or some extra guidance on how to approach a roommate with a concern. In addition, full-time professional staff who have master’s degrees live in the halls and supervise the House Fellows, and they can help with especially intense conflict mediation.
Q: Do you allow roommate changes over the summer?
A: Students are not allowed to switch room assignments during the summer due to a potential conflict of interest with their new roommates. Remember that a lot of monumental changes are happening in your student’s life right now. High school graduation and making the transition to the university with a new and diverse set of students can all seem to happen quickly. Encourage your student to remember that relationships can take time to develop and there is no need to rush the process. The Assignment Office will begin maintaining an official waiting list for room changes on September 4, 2012. To join the waiting list, students should visit the Assignment Office in the lower level of Slichter Hall. Room changes are offered throughout the semester on a firstcome, first-served basis as space becomes available.
Q: Can roommates choose to live together again?
A: Absolutely! Students have greater flexibility in choosing their rooms online if they are returning to the University Residence Halls for their sophomore year. They can choose the same room together or two single rooms right next door to each other.
Q: Who can my student contact with more specific questions?
A: Students can call, e-mail, or stop by the University Housing Office. And the office is happy to provide talking points to parents, too. For Residence Life contact information, visit each hall’s web page at www. housing.wisc.edu. To reach the Assignment Office team, e-mail assignme@housing.wisc.edu.
First-Year Briefs
Sending Your Student Mail and Packages
If your student lives in University Housing, sending a thoughtful letter or gift is a great way to give him or her a sense of home — and it’s easy to do. Just format your student’s address this way:
NameResidence Hall
Floor, Room Number
Street Address
City, State, Zip
Mail will be delivered to the front desk of your student’s residence hall, where it will be sorted and placed into your student’s mailbox. Students can access their regular mailbox using their room keys. For packages, your student will receive an e-mail to his or her @wisc.edu account and can then pick up the package at the front desk with a valid student ID.
You can also send your student a complimentary e-postcard by visiting the Parent Program website. Gift baskets are also available through University Housing or the local Fresh Madison Market.
Web Chat for Parents of New Students
If you are the parent of a new student, you’ll want to mark August 15 from noon to 1:30 p.m. CST on your calendar. The Parent Program and University Communications will be hosting a special web chat to help answer questions about your student’s initial transition to campus life. If you need a refresher after completing your sessions at SOAR or other questions have come to mind, this lunch-hour chat is for you. Topics will include housing move-in, homesickness, academics, health and safety, technology, and financial aid. To sign in to the chat, and for more information, visit the UW–Madison Web Chats site.
Wisconsin Welcome
During the time between moving in and starting classes, students can already begin their Wisconsin Experience. Wisconsin Welcome is designed to welcome new students and those who are returning to campus. Wisconsin Welcome is a great way for your student to become familiar with campus traditions, meet new people, and rekindle friendships made during SOAR. It’s a time for students to find answers to questions, learn about academics, find their way around campus, learn about Wisconsin history and culture, and discover all that the university has to offer.
During the weeklong event, your student will attend the Chancellor’s Convocation, academic orientations, a New Student Night at the Overture Center featuring local and national performing acts, a Student Organization Fair, a New Student Night at University Book Store, and many other activities.
Learn more about Wisconsin Welcome and view the ever-growing list of events at newstudent.wisc.edu/wiwelcome.